Friday, November 9, 2007


I have been looking for this post for a long time. A very good pal sent it to me today and I needed to post it here. If you were born and bred in Bahston - you know this already.

For those of you who have never been to "Bawstin", this is a good guideline. I hope you will consider coming to "Beantown" in the near future. For those who call New England home, this is just plain great!

Information on Boston and the surrounding area:

  • There's no school on School Street, no court on Court Street, no dock on Dock Square, no water on Water Street. Back Bay streets are in alphabetical "oddah": Arlington, Berkeley, Clarendon, Dartmouth, etc. So are South Bostonstreets: A, B, C, D, etc.
  • If the streets are named after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill. If they're named after poets, you're in Wellesley. Massachusetts Ave is Mass Ave; Commonwealth Ave is Comm Ave; South Boston is Southie. The South End is the South End. East Boston is Eastie.
  • The North End is east of the former West End. The West End and Scollay Square are no more; a guy named Rappaport got rid of them one night. Roxbury is The Burry, Jamaica Plain is J.P.How to say these Massachusetts city names correctly: **Say it wrong, be hunned**
  • Worcester: Wuhsta (or Wistah)Gloucester : GlawstaLeicester LestaWoburn: WoobanDedham : Dead-umRevere: Re-vee-ahQuincy: QuinzeeTewksbury : Tooks berryLeominster : Lemin-staPeabody: Pee-ba-deeWaltham : Walth-hamChatham: ChaddumSamoset: Sam-oh-set or Sum-aw-set but nevah Summerset!


  • Frappes have ice cream, milkshakes don't.
  • If it is fizzy and flavored, it's tonic.Soda is CLUB SODA."Pop" is Dad.When we want Tonic WATER, we will ask for Tonic WATER.
  • The smallest beer is a pint.
  • Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish. If you paid more than $6/pound, you got scrod.
  • It's not a water fountain; it's a bubblah.
  • It's not a trashcan; it's a barrel.
  • It's not a spucky, a hero or grinder,... it's a sub.
  • It's not a shopping cart; it's a carriage.
  • It's not a purse; it's a pockabook.
  • They're not franks; they're haht dahgs; Franks are money in Switzahland.
  • Police don't drive patrol units or black and whites they drive a "crooza".
  • If you take the bus, your on the "looza crooza".
  • It's not a rubber band, it's an elastic.
  • It's not a traffic circle, it's a rotary.
  • "Going to the islands" means Martha's Vineyard & Nantucket.
  • The Sox = The Red Sox
  • The C's = The Celtics
  • The Pats = The Patriots
  • The B's = The Bruins

Things not to do:

  • Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd .. they'll tow it to Meffa (Medford) or Summahville (Somerville).
  • Don't sleep on the Common. (Boston Common)
  • Don't wear Orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day.

Things you should know:

  • There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, two Hancock buildings (one old, one new for each).
  • The colored lights on top the old Hancock tell the weatha':"Solid blue, clear view....""Flashing blue, clouds due....""Solid red, rain ahead....""Flashing red, snow instead...." - (except in summer; flashing red means the Red Sox game was rained out)
  • Route 128 is also I-95 south. It's also I-93 north.

Most people live here all their life and still don't know what the hell is going on with this one. The underground train is not a subway. It's the "T", and it doesn't run all night (fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk).

Order the "cold tea" in China Town after 2:00 am you'll get a kettle full of beer.

Bostonians... think that it's their God-given right to cut off someone in traffic.Bostonians...think that there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R's).

Bostonians...think that three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave.

Bostonians...refer to six inches of snow as a "dusting."

Bostonians...always "bang a left" as soon as the light turns green, and oncoming traffic always expects it.

Bostonians...believe that using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.Bostonians...think that 63-degree ocean water is warm.Bostonians...think Rhode Island accents are annoying.


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